


Recalculating

by sollamentos



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Complete, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, One Shot, Tragedy, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24761074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sollamentos/pseuds/sollamentos
Summary: Baekhyun had done more than three thousand races, was a platinum driver and his biography was limited to saying that he loved life. Just like Minseok.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun & Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Kudos: 3





	Recalculating

**Author's Note:**

> I do not support or romanticize anything that is written here. You also shouldn't romanticize anything.  
> There are some real facts here.
> 
> Also written in brazilian portuguese as "Recalculando".

Saturday night used to be the day where - in any corner of the city - a couple or a group of friends gathered for fun, be it eating ice cream, going out to the club or having a pajama party. For this reason, anyone who saw the brunette leave behind the automatic doors of the New Seoul St. Mary’s Hospital Care EF would be surprised. 

Minseok was an auxiliary nurse and that was the day of his shift, but more importantly, it was the last day before his short three-day break, enough to settle his personal issues - for which he had no time within his 12 by 36 scale - and of course, rest.

He loved his profession as he loved life. Or rather, as he loved to help save lives. Almost always, his day was filled with dosages of medicines prescribed by doctors, extreme concentration for drawing blood and vomiting sick children - a roller coaster with ups and downs impossible to predict. The adrenaline rush to run for an oxygen mask in the middle of an emergency was what kept the Kim alert and proud to say that no one died on his shift.

However, like every human being, he needed a break.

In the heavy bag, supported by his left shoulder, rested Minseok's coat, which was soon worn by him because of the strong wind outside. It was spring, the temperature didn't usually drop that much at that time, and the boy cursed seeing that only that coat wouldn't be able to handle the cold he felt.

"Minseok!" Junmyeon, one of the hospital security guards, called his name. "Have you finished your shift?"

"Yes…" He replied a little shakily, hugging his own body. "I just wasn't expecting all this cold."

"Yeah... At these times, it's really convenient to wear a suit." He laughed, accompanied by Minseok. "If you weren't so tired, I would ask you to wait for me. I can give you a ride."

"There's no need, Jun. I think I'll just take an Uber."

"Fine." He sighed worriedly, waving to his friend. "Let me know when you arrive. I know better than anyone how careless you are."

Kim walked away showing his tongue, then waved back at Junmyeon. He stopped by the sidewalk just to get his phone. He was hardly at risk of being robbed there, practically next to the porter's cabin. Besides, that place was an emergency room. There was always someone around, especially at that time.

He searched for the paid racing app, which he used very little - but was useful in cases when he left work late and there was no one to accompany him to the subway; or when Junmyeon was unavailable to offer him a ride. Minseok didn't know how to drive and was incredibly distracted, as well as not being able to say no to strangers. Basically, it was a danger to leave him alone, even though he was an adult.

Junmyeon was his friend for many years. They studied together and didn't grew apart, even after high school. He was a musician, played double-bass in an acid jazz band little known in the city - but he couldn't pay the bills just with the miserable fee and artistic cover; he needed to supplement the income. Luckily, Minseok had more sense in his mind when it came to planning for the future and, a few months after being admitted as a nursing assistant, he tried to look for an opportunity for the other Kim.

In fact, if he could list the only two things in which the brunette was, in fact, an adult, Junmyeon would say, "save money and be responsible for what lies ahead". For, by the way, he always managed to spy on Minseok so that he would not do anything stupid for being somewhat innocent. Minseok had a huge heart and little tact for the world's chatter, letting himself be carried away by a simple conversation about credit card signing. So he offered Minseok a ride every day, even when he was accompanied. Keeping him under his eyes, safe, made Junmyeon sleep well.

Minseok remembered the anguished grimace that Junmyeon threw him minutes ago and laughed alone at the other's exaggeration, while typing his home address into the app. He wasn't that careless, and people weren't all malicious. He always believed that he would receive good by doing it to others; he wasn't Christian, but he heard it from his mother. In other words, there was nothing wrong with talking to some lady in line at the bank and losing all his other commitments - after all, he didn't knew if she had anyone else to talk to.

His heart was warm at the end of the day, it was what mattered most. His professional life in the health field ended up teaching him a little.

After setting up the places of origin and destination, Minseok checked the price and frowned at having paid more than he should because of the relatively short distance, but ended up giving in at twenty thousand wons. The app loaded, searching for the nearest drivers in the area until it spotted a black Kia Morning on the map, six minutes away from where he was.

He left the surprise at the quick response of the phone and memorized the license plate. Opposite the information about the car that was coming for him, was the photo of the driver, who was smiling broadly showing a victory sign, next to his name.

_Baekhyun. Well rated driver._

He decided to take a screenshot just to send to Junmyeon - with a message saying that he had nothing to worry about, teasing his friend while waiting for an answer. When Minseok received a smiley face rolling back its eyes, he thought of recording an audio, but the cellphone alerted that the battery was low.

"Damn, I forgot to put it to recharge at work..." He complained, seeing a car approaching where he was. He put a hand over his eyes because of the high headlights.

"Kim Minseok?" The man inside the vehicle called him, having the brunette's surprised eyes in response; found it funny. "Good night."

"Good night!" Kim exclaimed awkwardly, taking the heavy bag from his shoulders and settling it beside him in the back seat.

"We are going to..." Baekhyun paused to check the destination at Minseok's request. "Guri, right?"

"Yes..."

"Fine." He accelerated the car little by little while adjusting his cell phone in the holder and selecting the virtual map. "Do you want me to turn on the air conditioning?"

"There's no need, thank you."

"Do you have a radio preference?"

"No, I listen to everything." He smiled even though he knew the driver hadn't seen it.

Minseok leaned back more comfortably in the car's upholstery and watched the set of buildings that formed his workplace gradually receding. With some GPS instructions, they were already crossing the Mapo bridge, and the brunette started to admire the view he already knew very well. St. Mary’s was relatively close to the Han River and, except when taking the underground route on the subway, he passed over that bridge during his rides with Junmyeon. The place would be full of cars if it weren't for the time.

He yawned longer than he would have liked and his eyes watered with exhaustion. That day he had been especially rushed to see two children, one with a virus and the other with chicken pox, as well as a woman with dysentery who had caused damage in the medical corridor - apart from ordinary patients looking for a certificate. His feet burned inside his white shoes because he had run so far from side to side like a dizzy cockroach. His boss, Joohyun, demanded too much of her prodigy.

He ended up looking at Baekhyun at a glance, with one hand firmly behind the wheel and small eyes, seen in the rearview mirror, attentive to the track. His hair was lank and blond that hindered his concentration now and then due to the wind. His left arm rested quietly in the open window, covered in a leather jacket. He was very handsome, to tell you the truth.

"Can I confess something to you?" Baekhyun asked suddenly, making Minseok a little scared; once again, he laughed lightly at the scene. "Sorry if I scared you."

"N-No, that..." He disguised with his hand on his chest; he was really careless. "Answering your question, of course you can."

"So..." He started, still without taking his eyes off the traffic. "Before you, I answered other passenger. Do you believe she wanted to smoke inside the car?"

"Oh really?" Minseok asked with sincere indignation at what he was hearing. "What did you do?"

"I said she couldn't. I just saw that she gave one star just for that."

"Whoa, so annoying..."

"Yeah. At Uber, we have a limit of bad ratings, and I had three. Now, with this, there are four."

Kim didn't quite know what to say when Baekhyun stopped talking. It was none of his business, but he wanted to have continued the conversation somehow. He ended up sighing, turning his attention to the streets that were on the other side of the river, once they had finished crossing the bridge.

"I don't want to be prejudiced..." The blonde continued, capturing Minseok's attention once more. "One of the other bad evaluations I received was from a guy. He harassed me, you know?"

"I see... Can't you report this to Uber?"

"Well, I can. But they never answer."

"Wow, I thought they were a more understandable company..."

"Companies are all the same, right?" He asked ironically, but left the question implied. Minseok smiled sheepishly.

He stared at his hands resting on his thighs, thinking about what to do during the drive home. The silence was no longer embarrassing because of the radio on, which played some old music. Baekhyun whistled even though he didn't know it, a little whistle out of pace just to break the ice a little more. The long fingers drummed happily over the steering wheel.

"So, are you going for a walk?" He brought up the subject again, now looking at Minseok in the rearview mirror with amused eyes.

"I wish..." He gave an automatic chuckle. "I'm just coming back from work.

"Got it... But tomorrow you're off, right?" He joked.

"Yes! Not just tomorrow, but three days in a row."

"Phew, I'm happy!" Baekhyun celebrated, stopping the car at a red light, turning quickly to Minseok right after.

The gesture startled Minseok.

"What's your occupation?" He asked, studying the brunette's feline eyes.

"I-I am a nurse."

"That's cool! I think you must work hard..." He realized that the signal was green again for cars and soon he was facing the wheel again." I heard you yawning a lot back there."

"A-Ah, that's right..."Minseok messed up his brown hair, feeling a little embarrassed. "This life in the health area is really rushed."

"I see." Minseok didn't see it, but the driver gave a nice smile when the radio announced the next song. "I have another job besides Uber."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a massagist."

"Damn, this is... " His words had fled, the fear of saying something wrong was real.

"Unusual?" Baekhyun completed.

"Yeah! Very unusual."

"What do I look like?" He turned in profile and Minseok could study his drooping nose and protruding chin; he ended up swallowing unintentionally.

"M-Maybe a guitarist..." Baekhyun's laugh was loud and that irritated the other one. "What?!"

"Nohing!" He replied between laughs. "It's just that nobody ever told me that. Is it because of the jacket?"

"Could be..." Minseok shyly agreed.

The blonde was still amusing himself with the answer he heard, humming some verse that didn't match what was playing at the time. Minseok cringed on the bench; he was an easy kid to talk to, but there, inside that car, he was strangely difficult. He couldn't tell if the other one made him uncomfortable and he also didn't know if it was good or bad.

He shouldn't even be considering such a possibility, it was just an Uber ride!

" I work at a clinic in Gangnam. I serve several idols, you know?" He spoke more seriously, but still relaxed. "As they train dance steps a lot, the agencies end up looking for a massagist."

"Wow...!" Minseok let himself be impressed. "Do you attend many idols a day?"

"It depends on the season. When some are on tour, managers prefer to take a private massage therapist. But, in general, I attend three or four a day."

"That's pretty cool... Do you supplement your income with Uber?" Asked, but soon regretted. "Sorry for the intrusion."

'Don't worry, relax!" The brunette noticed again the smile appearing on his lips. "In the past, yes. But I ended up getting used to being an Uber driver. I like to drive and I like to massage. I think I can say that I do what I like today."

Minseok smiled when he heard that statement. It's very difficult for an adult today to like what it does; in fact, the present of many ends up being unhappy and the dreams of yore are just a distorted view of a long time ago. But Kim, unlike all the colleagues he studied with and even works with today, is passionate about his job and meeting someone with a similar feeling made him felt less out of control.

"There are three masseuses at the clinic, but I end up doing all kinds of massage. Reflexology, shiatsu, lymphatic drainage." Baekhyun paused, watching Minseok take a bottle of water out of his bag and drink it. "Tantric massage..."

He laughed at the brunette choking on hearing his last words.

"Do you know what tantric massage is, then." He asked sarcastically.

"S-Sure I know!" Minseok exclaimed, his face on fire.

He crossed his arms a little sullen because that guy was so sarcastic with him without even knowing him. Obviously he knew what tantric massage was, and had already wanted to try it - as his search history at Google indicated - but he would never admit it to the Uber driver. He glanced at Baekhyun, who was like a Greek statue strolling down the expressway and pretending that nothing had happened.

"I'll tell you a story." The blonde announced and suddenly Minseok seemed very interested. "Once, a couple of very famous idols asked me to do a tantric massage."

"God, what a scandal!" He put his hands in his mouth because of the shock. "Can't you tell me who they are?"

"As if!" Baekhyun laughed, accompanied by the brunette. "In fact, she came to the clinic. I did the massage and, at the end of the session, she asked me if I was attending in private. I have my prices, so I said yes."

"Then...?"

"Then she gave me her phone number and a few days later they contacted me. Actually, the guy called." He paused purposefully to let Minseok squirm in curiosity in the back seat. "Well, he wanted to make an appointment for both, and I accepted."

"And then?!"

"Getting there, I set up my equipment and started to massage the girl. And the guy just wanted to look... You know?"

"Wow, I would do anything to know who the couple is!" Kim threw his body against the bank, frustrated with only half the information.

He felt like a pervert for having liked the story.

"I know, but that would be a disaster if it fell into the wrong hands."

"Minseok nodded, looking back at the large buildings along the way. Baekhyun should have stories as funny as his own and, for a moment, imagined sharing them with him in a more casual encounter - like an afternoon coffee, for example. He would love to have met him at a time other than a post-shift Saturday night.

"Another funny case was that of an idol who scheduled a reflexology session." The driver started another of his stories and Minseok was happy that the conversation was flowing more naturally. "She was really pretty. And quite famous too."

"One more that you can't name ..." he moaned, eliciting a laughter from the other.

"Yes, but you would be disappointed if you knew who she is. Anyway, I took her to the living room and waited for her to undress in the bathroom and come back with her robe. Look, I never worked in a mask, never. But that day I worked.

"Why?" He asked, curious.

"Think of a stinky woman..."

"Are you kidding?!" Minseok shouted and, when Baekhyun shook his head, he laugh as loudly as he could. "How can I be disappointed?! I will die if I don't know who she is!"

"She stank too much, man. It was unbearable."

Both laughed at the descriptions provided by Baekhyun, which made it even funnier. He couldn't wait to tell Junmyeon, who hated this world of idols and would have more ammunition to counter all his fans.

With pain in his stomach, Minseok looked even more comfortable in the car than when he started the journey. The blonde had a very good aura and it was inexplicable to give him just one star. It seems that liking what you do was, indeed, a great differential in the life of a professional.

A little further on, a sign announced that Guri was less than a mile away and the Kim snorted. The best Uber ride of his life was coming to an end and, only if fate was too kind to him, he would never see Baekhyun again. He thought about asking for the contact, but he didn't know if he would be cocky enough to reveal his intentions or just make an excuse about needing a massage.

Junmyeon would love to meet him.

"You put a lot of effort in your legs, right?" The driver woke him from his thoughts. "Because of your work."

"Oh yes, a lot."

"I will recommend a reflexology session. I'm not going to give you the clinic's address because I think it's shameless publicity." He laughed. "But, whoever the masseuse is, it will help you a lot."

"Thanks, I'll look for sure." Minseok heard the GPS inform that they had reached their destination.

"Where do I stop?"

"It could be in front of that building." He pointed to the building where he lived and took out his wallet, handing the credit card to Baekhyun. "How much was it?"

"23.110 won." He inserted the card in the machine and seconds later offered the device to Minseok enter the password. "Do you want your copy?"

" There's no need." He smiled, putting his card back and jumping out of the vehicle. "Good night and good work."

"Have a good night, Minseok."

It was a strange feeling, as if he were letting something very important slip away. As soon as he turned the key to access the entrance to his building, he looked back and saw Baekhyun's car in the same place, probably ending the race. He smiled sadly, he should have been bolder in asking for the other's phone number, but now he felt it was a little too late for that.

He walked slowly up the stairs to his floor and, with the same dismay, opened the door. He threw all his belongings on the couch and walked to the kitchen to have a glass of water, which was interrupted by the ring of his cell phone.

"Damn..." He cursed softly when he saw Junmyeon's name on the display and prepared his best light-headed voice to answer him. "Good night, Jun!"

"Geez, you took this long to get home?!" Minseok ignored with an irritated voice.

"This long, you say. It's the time we spend to arrive!"

"I know..." He closed the matter still not convinced. "How was the ride?"

"It was fine, the driver was very funny..." Minseok smiled at the memory of Baekhyun; he would try to rate hin very well as soon as Junmyeon hung up.

"You don't have to give much attention, I already warned you!" He received another scolding from Junmyeon and rolled his eyes. "I'll be leaving soon, I'm waiting for Chanyeol to come and cover me. Go to sleep! Enjoy your day off."

"Okay..." said dragged, listening to some more lost sermons from the other Kim. "Okay, I'm going to take a shower, bye."

He ended the call before Junmyeon could say anything else and soon searched for the app, facing the automatic notification asking what he thought of the race, with the star icons waiting to be filled. He had no doubts about dragging them to their maximum number and Uber made a few more suggestions, such as praising the race and offering a tip.

 _Excelent reception. Very nice. Good route._ He would've put them all, if possible.

After evaluating it with a compliment, an optional comment section was opened. Minseok's quick fingers typed "thanks for the fun trip, and for the stories", knowing how cheesy the message sounded and that it would be available in other passengers' reports about it.

He procrastinated a little more to take a shower as he felt the curiosity to tweak Baekhyun's profile on the app even more, even if it was nothing much. He zoomed Baekhyun's profile photo and, although completely pixelated, he could see the smile with a little more clarity. The blonde had done more than three thousand races, was a platinum driver and his biography was limited to saying that he loved life. Just like Minseok.

Suddenly, they had everything in common.

He looked at the hours on his phone as soon as he felt his stomach rumbling; it was too late to do anything, but still he decided to stop by the corner convenience store to buy a tray of pre-made kimbaps. He picked up the keys and ran down the stairs, now finding the doorman at his usual spot and greeted him quickly.

On the street, he was surprised to see that Baekhyun's car was still parked in the same place. He stopped, looking from side to side, the houses all silent and the lights out; he decided to approach the black Kia Morning that brought him home. The passenger window was also open and it was there that he leaned over to watch Baekhyun with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed.

"Are you still here?" Minseok asked, but, contrary to what was expected, the blonde was not scared.

"Waiting for a race." he replied, adjusting his posture calmly to observe the other. "Get in."

Minseok tensed. It was not at all convenient for the Uber driver to get you in the car again after a race. His legs shook and, for some unknown reason, he didn't know how to answer. It was so simple to just say 'no'. Just one word, which had a superhuman strength in Kim - who could never explain the reason for such difficulty.

Baekhyun's eyes, naturally small, no longer had the same joy as before. It seemed that he wasn't the same person, however absurd the idea may sound. Now his eyes were cloudy, cold. His lips were lost in a straight line without any emotion, without amusing stories, without laughter.

"N-No..." The brunette whispered with a lot of effort, which was ignored by Byun.

"Get in."

The deep voice sent a shiver down Minseok's spine, a shiver that was not good. It was more like a bad feeling, the feeling you get when you are about to get sick, a terrifying chill. Minseok's movements did not obey him, he did not want to open the door of that car, he did not want to seek shelter in the seat upholstery. His mind gave off a great audible warning of danger. A big no he could never say.

However, Baekhyun was too magnetic.

They stayed in a disturbing silence for a long time, so still that it was possible to hear the other's heavy breathing and Minseok, for a moment, was afraid that his heartbeat would be heard in the same way. He watched his long fingers squeeze the steering wheel when the app notified a race order and, after accepting it, Baekhyun directed the car to the next destination.

Minseok didn't thought that they would meet like this, and he didn't like what he was experiencing at that moment, as the houses were getting further and further away from the city. He tried to calm himself mentally, in case Baekhyun tried anything, but ended up becoming even more anxious about the possibility.

_Recalculating the route._

He felt his body recover.

"Y-You should have turned there..." He said without an ounce of courage, fearing for his own life.

The blonde remained quiet, reaching for a cigarette from the pack and lighting it with a lighter he took out of his pocket. The drug landed between his fingers outside the window, carrying strong smoke along with the wind. Minseok wanted to cry, to grab the steering wheel and throw it off the track, to steal the other's phone and dial the police number. He wish he listened to Junmyeon every time he got scolded by him.

Now, he didn't know if he would have another opportunity to apply his friend's advice.

Baekhyun parked the car gently at the edge of an open field. He was observed all the way by Kim, bypassing the vehicle and opening the passenger door for him. Minseok was afraid to leave, but when the blonde reached out to him, he felt silently intimidated to get out of the car.

He was welcomed with a 12 gauge gun.

"Don't say a word." Baekhyun's husky voice said, pressing the gun barrel against Minseok's back.

He walked slowly through the woods, feeling his stomach churn with what might happen. He walked until the other asked him to stop and kneel with his back to him. The brown hair was stroked and Minseok felt a hot tear run quickly down his cheek, leaving a wet path that soon cooled with the wind hitting his face.

He wasn't Christian, but as Baekhyun's fingers walked all over his body, he prayed. His mother always prayed in bad situations.

_It was me and a gun  
And a man on my back  
And I sang holy holy  
As he buttoned down his pants_

**Author's Note:**

> This song at the end is called "Me and a Gun" by Tori Amos.


End file.
